Beautiful things come out of horrible situations. I know that for a fact. Out of sadness you get a newfound wisdom on how the world can look with a haze of gray clouds, how people can be senseless, how you can see the universe in a whole new way. And that may be hard to handle, hard to cope, hard to accept, but it's so damn beautiful if you really take the time to realize. Out of anger you can feel your heartbeat race, with every beat it is shaking your whole being and not only the heavy steps you take. It is when you, your whole self and some power is telling you that you are alive. And that is amazing in every angle. Out of anything there is something in there that makes it incredible. Something that makes it shine. Whatever it is is potent and it is a blessing to be able to feel what you feel. You just have to think about it.
I know i have yet to explain the dramatic details of the past week.
Basically my cousin (my roommate)'s girlfriend and I cannot live together. Period. We have kept personal issues we have with each other locked inside since we moved in, and they all just exploded at once. I thought it was going to be a fist fight, and I am not like that. I have come to learn my lesson that I do not need to be living with couples as roommates, especially when a baby and/or marriage is involved.
Luckily, Harmon and his family have been incredibly supportive through this. They have let me stay with them, so I don't even have to worry about coming in much contact with her to avoid confrontation. It is still hard because my stuff is still there, and things still need to be done. I guess this is where maturity has to come in. Today for instance I finally went there needing a shower and to do a load of laundry. The washer was running when I got there, so I was waiting till it was done so that I would have hot water. Right when it was done she started doing dishes and was running the hot water for at least 30 minutes. So then I had to wait another 15 minutes or so to wait for the hot water heater to recover, then she started another load of laundry!! And she absolutely knew I was intending to get in. Urghghgh. I swear I was about to jump out of my skin in anger, but instead i curled up in my Georgia chair, and read a little bit of Breaking Dawn. Strangely enough it seemed to calm my nerves, and of course the fact that I will no longer be living there in about ten days or so!!
Yesterday I was desperate to find a place to live, because I only had till the end of the month to do so anyways. Luckily one of the apartment complexes called me back with vacancy, and had me come over to tour. It seemed like the way to go, and it will at least get me through the semester. It is also a student apartment complex, so hopefully I will meet more people my age and make some new friends. The only thing is I will be moving in with 3 other roommates that I have never met before, but I have already had every extreme possible in a roommate, how bad can it get? ANYTHING seems better than the situation im in right now. Tomorrow I get to go meet a few of them though, and pick out which room I want. =D
And like I said through all of this Harmon and his family have been amazing. I really went through a serious phase of depression, I couldn't stop crying or worrying about what was going to happen from here on. I had never felt so alone, and unappreciated. But they helped me get back on my feet, and helped to show me even though my family is 3 hours away, I will always have a family in them. Harmon loves me, regardless. And I love him. I am very lucky to have him in my life. He is my best friend, and my lover, and I really don't know what I would do without him. If we don't work out, then so be it. But for now, I'm taking my chances. This is twice he has been incredibly understanding of my roommate troubles, and is very optimistic about my future home at University Walk Apartments.
And so am i. =]
Basically my cousin (my roommate)'s girlfriend and I cannot live together. Period. We have kept personal issues we have with each other locked inside since we moved in, and they all just exploded at once. I thought it was going to be a fist fight, and I am not like that. I have come to learn my lesson that I do not need to be living with couples as roommates, especially when a baby and/or marriage is involved.
Luckily, Harmon and his family have been incredibly supportive through this. They have let me stay with them, so I don't even have to worry about coming in much contact with her to avoid confrontation. It is still hard because my stuff is still there, and things still need to be done. I guess this is where maturity has to come in. Today for instance I finally went there needing a shower and to do a load of laundry. The washer was running when I got there, so I was waiting till it was done so that I would have hot water. Right when it was done she started doing dishes and was running the hot water for at least 30 minutes. So then I had to wait another 15 minutes or so to wait for the hot water heater to recover, then she started another load of laundry!! And she absolutely knew I was intending to get in. Urghghgh. I swear I was about to jump out of my skin in anger, but instead i curled up in my Georgia chair, and read a little bit of Breaking Dawn. Strangely enough it seemed to calm my nerves, and of course the fact that I will no longer be living there in about ten days or so!!
Yesterday I was desperate to find a place to live, because I only had till the end of the month to do so anyways. Luckily one of the apartment complexes called me back with vacancy, and had me come over to tour. It seemed like the way to go, and it will at least get me through the semester. It is also a student apartment complex, so hopefully I will meet more people my age and make some new friends. The only thing is I will be moving in with 3 other roommates that I have never met before, but I have already had every extreme possible in a roommate, how bad can it get? ANYTHING seems better than the situation im in right now. Tomorrow I get to go meet a few of them though, and pick out which room I want. =D
And like I said through all of this Harmon and his family have been amazing. I really went through a serious phase of depression, I couldn't stop crying or worrying about what was going to happen from here on. I had never felt so alone, and unappreciated. But they helped me get back on my feet, and helped to show me even though my family is 3 hours away, I will always have a family in them. Harmon loves me, regardless. And I love him. I am very lucky to have him in my life. He is my best friend, and my lover, and I really don't know what I would do without him. If we don't work out, then so be it. But for now, I'm taking my chances. This is twice he has been incredibly understanding of my roommate troubles, and is very optimistic about my future home at University Walk Apartments.
And so am i. =]
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