heres to the nights we felt alive.

Today has been a day of reflecting for me.

Remembering why and how things in my life have come to be the way they are, and what I am going to do from this point. Regardless, one thing is unevitable and that is the fact that things absolutely do happen for a reason. Reasons we may not understand, but eventually we figure it out. So I am trusting God with all my heart, that the decisions I make, and the road I decide to go down will lead me to where I am supposed to be.

Meanwhile, how do I know if letting go is the right thing? One minute I think I know, and then the next I'm not so sure anymore. I have never had such a hard time figuring out if something was right for me or not. Usually it's just something that is right or wrong, plain and simple. I told Harmon today that regardless of what was going to happen with us, I was positive that I need to move back home at the end of the semester. This did not make him very happy and I could tell it bothered him as much as it did me. We both have a lot to think about, and figure out, even if we are going to be just friends from here on out.

On the happy side of life, I get to go home tomorrow. I am so so very excited, especially to see my sisters. Sabrina called me last night and she was in tears. I asked her what was wrong and she went on and on saying how much she missed me, and she needed me but I wasn't there. This killed me. My whole purpose in life is to be there for people I love and care about and the fact I couldn't be there for her tore me apart. It tears me apart I can't be there like I would like to for my other sister either, because I know she is having a hard time as well. This weekend I am going to be doing a lot of thinking, and spending a lot of time with those that give me positive advice, and that can give me back what I feel like I am missing in Concord. Maybe if I go to the right person, or place I will figure out everything I need to know, and come back to Concord with the right tools and knowledge to do the right thing. Whatever it may be.

Tonight is going to be a long night. I am going to go to the gym, take it a bit easy since I am still sore from my hard workouts all week, and then study and pack for tomorrow. Pray that I pass both of my exams tomorrow so I can come home in peace!!